Dr Ben Mead Clinical Psychologist

Am I depressed?

It is not uncommon for me to receive a query from an person asking whether they are depressed. Often this is supplemented by statements about how, on the outside, their life is really good. Lovely house, work is fine, no major money issues, loved ones healthy. But, something just doesn’t feel right to them.

The first thing to add is that depression can hit us all. Young, old, rich, poor, active, less active. Depression is typically seen as have symptoms such as:

• finding little interest or pleasure in activities
• being tired, lethargic
• having difficulty concentrating on everyday activities
• feeling hopeless
• being very critical to oneself or feeling like you are letting others down

Having these, or some of these symptoms can be an indication of depression. How this is treated though can vary widely between individuals. Whilst cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) have been shown to be really helpful in helping individuals with these symptoms, the actual strategies adopted can vary widely between interventions. Essentially, two people can be given CBT for depression, but their treatment can look quite different. Tailoring therapy to the individual is therefore key for therapy to be beneficial. During the assessment stage of therapy, I will work with you to understand your symptoms, how they came about but most importantly, how they are being maintained. Indeed, one the most common maintaining factors to depression is in the first paragraph in this blog post – a person being critical towards themselves due to how they are feeling.

Imagine you were at a party at a friend’s house, people smiling, having a good time. Your friend says to you that they are feeling low. Now, if your friend had some things in their life to be thankful for, you may help direct their attention towards those. This could be helpful. However, ask yourself how you would direct them to these things? Would you say it compassionately, calmly with a soothing voice or would you say it aggressively, critically, perhaps calling them an idiot for feeling low? It’s amazing how, when we feel low, we can adopt the latter approach with ourselves – and that is about as helpful as it would be if we did it to our friend. As the saying goes, “it’s not what we say, it’s how we say it” – the same is true for our internal dialogue. Understanding and developing techniques to build a healthy relationship with our mind is one of the interventions in cognitive behavioural therapy for depression.

Do get in contact if you would like to find our more about therapy for depression, or even if you just wish to ask the question of this blog. As I say, depression can present itself in many ways, I’ve touched on a couple in this article, but your experience may be very different. My job is to help understand you, and help you move forward in life so that it is more meaningful and fulfilling for you.

What is a Therapy appointment like?

A question I am sometimes asked is ‘What happens in a therapy appointment?’. Unfortunately, this is in fact quite a tricky question to answer…. at least succinctly! This is because, much depends on the therapy model offered, and also the personal style of a therapist.

There are many different models of therapy. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is probably the most well-known, but there are also side streams of CBT (often termed ‘3rd-wave CBT approaches’) like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness based CBT (MBCBT). There’s also other completely different types of therapy such as Psychoanalytic therapy (think Freud…), family therapy, eye-movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR), Hypnotherapy, person-centred counselling to name just a few. Each of these models of therapy have different approaches. For example, in person centred counselling, often the therapist adopts more a reflective stance, whereas in CBT a therapist may be more questioning about certain beliefs. In ACT, it is more about sitting with difficult thoughts, whereas in CBT it is about stepping back and challenging them. This is a very loose distinction though and one could argue too general a distinction.

Some things are constant across therapies though. A safe, non judgmental space is key to therapy. A place where a client feels they can express their views and be treated with curiosity. Where they can be open.

In both my online and in-person sessions in Guildford and Basingstoke, psychology appointments can vary depending on what type of therapy suits the client best. I am though a big believer in being genuine though. Therefore, I am always open to discussions about what would work best for the client and whether this is an approach I can adopt.

Any questions, as always, please do not hesitate to ask.